Finding joy, making memories, and celebrating the holidays when you live alone.
There’s something about the holidays that makes being alone feel a little different.
I live alone, and for the most part, I enjoy it. I like my peace and quiet, doing things on my own schedule, and not having to answer to anyone. But when Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around, I’ll admit, it feels different.
Everywhere you look, people are making plans. Families are getting together, grandchildren are coming to visit, and everyone seems to be preparing for a house full of people.
And then there’s me.
It’s not that I don’t have family. I do. I have a son whom I love dearly, and we talk all the time. But life doesn’t always make it possible to spend the holidays together. Sometimes he’s working, sometimes I’m working, and sometimes the distance between us just makes getting together difficult.
So, like many other people who live alone, I’ve spent quite a few Thanksgivings and Christmases by myself.
And while I’ve gotten used to it, that doesn’t mean the holidays feel like just another day.
Remembering the Christmases We Used to Have
I think no matter how comfortable we become with living alone, the holidays have a way of bringing back memories.
I remember when Christmas meant family getting together, a house full of people, good food, and all the little things that made the season special.
Those are wonderful memories, and I’m grateful for them.
But life changes. Families grow up, people move away, work schedules get in the way, and sometimes the holidays just don’t look the way they used to.
There have been years when I’ve told myself, “It’s just another day.”
But the truth is, it isn’t.
There’s something about knowing that so much of the world is celebrating together that makes a quiet house feel a little quieter.
That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m sitting around feeling lonely or sorry for myself. It just means I remember when things were different.
And I think that’s perfectly normal.
The Awkward Question: “What Are You Doing for Christmas?”
If you’ve spent the holidays alone, you might know exactly what I’m talking about.
At work, everyone starts discussing their holiday plans. They’re traveling to see family, having relatives over, planning big dinners, and talking about everything they have to get done.
Then someone turns to you and asks, “What are you doing for Christmas?”
And I tell them I’m staying home and cooking dinner for myself and my dog, Rocky.
My coworkers know how much I love cooking, so that part certainly doesn’t surprise them!
But sometimes I get the feeling that people feel sorry for me.
And honestly, that can make things a little awkward.
I understand that people mean well. Spending Christmas alone might sound sad to someone who has always celebrated with a house full of family.
But here’s the thing.
Just because I’m spending Christmas alone doesn’t mean I’m having a miserable Christmas.
Would I love to spend it with my son? Absolutely.
But if that isn’t possible, I can still have a good day.
And I don’t need anyone to feel sorry for me because my Christmas looks a little different from theirs.
Cooking Christmas Dinner for Two — One Has Four Legs!
Now, if there’s one thing I still get excited about during the holidays, it’s cooking!
I love to cook, and Christmas gives me the perfect excuse to make a big meal.
I’ll plan a ham or something special, make several side dishes, and of course, there has to be dessert.
You would think I was expecting a house full of company if you walked into my kitchen on Christmas Day.
But nope. It’s just me and Rocky!
And I’ll probably have enough leftovers to eat for the next week. LOL!
But you know what? I enjoy every bit of it.
I enjoy deciding what to make, getting everything ready, and spending time in my kitchen preparing a holiday meal.
I don’t cook a big Christmas dinner because I have to.
I cook it because it makes me happy.
And why shouldn’t I?
Just because I’m the only person sitting at the table doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a wonderful Christmas dinner.
Rocky certainly doesn’t complain about our holiday tradition, either!
Sometimes the Christmas Tree Stays in the Box
I used to decorate for Christmas, even when I knew I’d be spending the holiday alone.
I’d put up my tree, decorate the house, and usually have a little something wrapped underneath for myself and Rocky.
But the last couple of years, I haven’t decorated at all.
I can’t really point to one particular reason. Sometimes traditions just change as our lives change.
And I’ve learned that it’s okay.
If I feel like putting up a Christmas tree, I will. If I don’t, that’s okay, too.
And yes, I buy myself Christmas presents!
I’m certainly not ashamed of that.
When I used to put up the tree, I’d sometimes wrap something for myself and leave it underneath until Christmas morning.
These days, if I find something I’ve really been wanting close to Christmas, I usually just buy it and enjoy it.
Apparently, Santa doesn’t have to wait until December 25th anymore!
I think one of the nice things about getting older is realizing that we don’t have to follow every tradition simply because we’ve always done it that way.
We can keep the ones we love, change the ones that no longer fit, and even create a few new ones.
Sharing a Little Christmas Through Baking
One of my favorite things about the holidays has always been baking.
For years, I spent the weeks leading up to Christmas making homemade goodies to take to work.
I would bake a couple of things at a time, spreading it out over several weeks.
Pumpkin crunch bread with toasted coconut and nuts, pumpkin pies, raspberry cheesecake, Key lime Bundt cake with Key lime glaze, pecan pie bars, and zucchini bread were some of the things I enjoyed making.
My coworkers especially loved my pecan pie bars and zucchini bread.
In fact, they still tell new employees about them!
That always makes me smile.
I haven’t done as much holiday baking the last couple of years because, like everything else, the ingredients and electricity have gotten expensive.
But I’m hoping to get back into it.
There’s something wonderful about making something with your own hands and sharing it with people who appreciate it.
And it reminds me that even though I might spend Christmas Day alone, that doesn’t mean I haven’t shared in the joy of the season.
Sometimes the little things we do for others become traditions they remember, too.
When I Realized My Time Was Worth More Than Holiday Pay
For many years, I volunteered to work on Christmas Day.
I knew I was probably going to be spending the holiday alone anyway, and my employer offered double pay for working Christmas.
So I figured, why not?
If I wasn’t going to be celebrating with family, I might as well make some extra money.
And for a long time, I genuinely believed I needed that extra money.
Of course, once taxes came out, that holiday paycheck didn’t always feel quite as impressive as I’d imagined!
But over the years, something in my thinking began to change.
I started realizing that my time was becoming more important to me than making a little extra money.
Now, I know there are plenty of people who truly need that holiday pay. I’ve been there, and I completely understand.
But I’ve reached a point in my life where having a day to myself, cooking a wonderful meal, spending time with Rocky, and simply enjoying being home means more to me.
And here’s something I’ve come to realize.
Just because I don’t have a house full of people waiting for me doesn’t mean I have nothing better to do than work.
Being home is something.
Having a peaceful day is something.
Doing what I enjoy is something.
And my time has value, whether I’m spending it with a dozen people or just my dog.
It’s Okay to Miss the Old Days and Still Enjoy Today
I think this is probably the most important thing I’ve learned about spending the holidays alone.
You can miss the way Christmas used to be and still enjoy the Christmas you have now.
You can wish your family could be together and still appreciate a peaceful day at home.
You can feel a little sad when you remember past holidays and still laugh at yourself for cooking enough food to feed six people.
Those feelings don’t cancel each other out.
And you don’t have to pretend that spending the holidays alone is wonderful every minute.
Some moments might feel a little lonely.
Some memories might make you emotional.
And other moments might be filled with happiness, good food, laughter, and gratitude.
That’s life.
Living alone doesn’t mean we’ve stopped loving our families, making memories, or enjoying the holidays.
It simply means we’re learning to celebrate them differently.
Make the Holiday Your Own
If you’re spending Thanksgiving or Christmas alone this year, I hope you’ll remember something.
You don’t have to celebrate the way everyone else does.
If you want to decorate every room in your house, go right ahead.
If you don’t feel like putting up a tree, that’s okay, too.
Cook yourself a beautiful dinner. Make your favorite dessert. Call someone you love. Watch an old Christmas movie. Take a drive to look at the lights. Buy yourself a little present if you can afford it.
Or simply enjoy a quiet day doing whatever makes you happy.
And if the day feels a little difficult, allow yourself to feel that, too.
There’s no rule that says you have to be cheerful every minute just because it’s Christmas.
I don’t know exactly what my Christmas will look like this year.
Maybe I’ll put up a tree. Maybe I won’t.
But chances are, I’ll be in my kitchen cooking far too much food, Rocky will be nearby, and I’ll talk to my son sometime during the day.
It may not be the Christmas I remember from years ago.
It may not look like the Christmases I see in commercials or on social media.
But it’s still my Christmas.
And I’ve learned that it’s worth celebrating.
Because spending the holidays alone doesn’t mean you have nothing to celebrate.
From my little corner of the world to yours, whether your holiday table seats twelve or just one, I hope you find a little joy, a little peace, and something that makes you smile this holiday season.